My Heart Broke Today

Today I felt like I wanted to get out in the field and work with the people I was working in HQ to help. I wanted to be able to put a face to the aid we were offering, and I got more than I imagined.

I went to one of our 400 RC shelters, it was FC Clark Activity center, it was a mini dome. I went over there with Donna as she had two friends that were working there full time for their assignment. We walked in and they had the National guard everywhere, metal detectors at the entrances, and people searching bags, so it was very secure.

This shelter housed about 300 people, so it was a small shelter. It looked exactly as you would imagine. 300 cots in the center of the dome. People were everywhere. I was heart broken for them. They were living out of plastic bags and boxes, just sort of waiting around. Until FEMA or some other organization begins to place them it will just be that way for them. I cant imagine not knowing what would happen to me. Suddenly the luxury of being self sufficient seemed like the greatest gift on earth, but more than that the gift of having family and friends with the means to support me if ever something like this were to knock me down.

The face that I will always have to this tragedy is the face of Tyrell. He was a 4 year old little boy, with big chubby cheeks, huge brown eyes, in a cute little button down polo and shorts. He had a big plastic spider attached to an air tube that had a small ball at the end, and he was pressing the ball to make the spider jump. He went up and down the aisles of cots singing to himself with his sad little spider as happy as can be. He was adorable. I squatted down to his level so I could talk to him and he approached. I asked him his name, and asked me mine. Then he told me I could play with his spider. He took my hand with his tiny hand I walked up the aisle with him and his spider. He asked me why I was there, I told I was there to help. He asked me what I was there to help with, I told him all sorts of things. Then he asked me if I could help him. I said I would try. He said he wanted 2 things. One was a basket ball, the second was for me to find his gramma, they lost her in the storm. It took every ounce of strength in me for to not break down right then. He broke his spider and I fixed it for him, and then I had to leave. He let go of my hand and asked me if I would be back. I told him that i would not be, but anyone of us in the red vests were his friends and would always be there to help. Suddenly the red vest I had been wearing all week became much more to me than a means of identification, it made me a part of an incredible group of people. As soon as I walked out the door I lost it. I am bawling right now as I write this. The whole picture just came together for me. And I am so sad. I feel like this will never end for these people. What has struck me over the last 8 days is not how much these people lost, but how little they had to begin with. As long as I live I will never forget that little boy, and how his tiny hand felt in mine.

Once Donna and I left, we were on a mission for a woman named Linda. This woman had not had dialysis since the storm hit. The RC could not convince her to go. She had one leg, had lost everything, and I think that she was just ready to die. A woman named Mendy who was Donna's friend who worked at the shelter finally talked her into going. Donna and I managed to track down where she went before the storm hit, got her records, transferred them, and got her an appt tomorrow at 6 am at a center here in Baton Rouge. We did this while both of us were on our cell phones, her with the Dr, me with a medical supply company I placed an order with (somehow a 30,000.00 order I placed got lost on its way to our HQ.) We stopped at a light and did a Chinese fire drill so I could drive, Donna is the WORST driver. A few people saw our vests when they did this and rolled down there windows to thank us so much for being there to help. It moments like that that make this experience so amazing. We literally are saving lives every day. I am exhausted and floored.

I came home early today, I am just so worn out. My body aches, my heart aches. All at once I want to come home and stay on to help. I am probably not making any sense at this point so I am going to go.

Ashley